Let it be known that I am very much a fan of iconic RTS franchise Command & Conquer, especially the Tiberium saga.  However, I didn’t expect much from this final installment, probably because I don’t trust EA to tell a decent story let alone conclude one so rich as C&C’s.  Still I HAD to buy it, and although I’ve only played the first two levels, I thought I’d share some of my initial thoughts on the game.

Firstly, storytelling: what the hell is going on?  We start with a fairly uninteresting intro movie wherein series villain Kane cuts a deal with the good guys, GDI.  I assume everyone is friends now; whoopty frig.  I bet that nobody is going to betray anyone at some point.  I hoped to get some backstory once I start the game proper, and get me pumped for killin’ like in games past.  Nope.  Well, sorta.  Kane is an ally now, the Earth seems to be healing nicely, but there are still some terrorists out there.  Then my wife interrupts me.  That’s right, the classic first-person assumedly-male tacit commander that you assume during cutscenes this time has a backstory unrelated to the events of the game, and is married.  Oh, and you’re probably a cyborg.  Then some doctor and uncompelling military types talk to you and give you your first mission.  I couldn’t help noticing that none of these people is Michael Ironside or Billy Dee Williams, or any other popular sci-fi actor whose presence foretells awesomeness to come.  Nope, they’re bland; not necessarily bad actors, just bland.  Not even the arrival of Kane, played by series veteran and excellent video game actor Joe Kucan, makes this game any more interesting.

Next, Gameplay; they changed it, precious!  The classic sidebar and base-building has been unceremoniously replaced with a Starcraft-esque bottom bar (whose only colour is blue, which makes finding and clicking buttons a royal pain) and a massive mobile “Crawler” that deploys into your sole production structure.  Also, there’s no more resource gathering (interesting change, but C&C always had a simple resource gathering system so I miss it) and now there are unit limits (which always annoy me in RTS; why should I have to keep building all these frigging farms!?).  I give EA credit for experimenting, but take it back because it all functions like ass to me.  The classic sidebar and static base structures are what all C&C fans are familiar with; why would you change it now, when you’re finishing off this storyline?  This just makes #4 the black sheep of the series, whether or not players like the new setup.  Perhaps in time I will get used to it, but for now it is confusing and unpleasant.

Finally, units; I can’t tell them apart!  I should mention that I’ve been having hardware troubles of late and have to play this game with my old video card, necessitating me to ramp down the graphics settings.  Maybe they look more distinct on a higher setting, but right now they’re indistinguishable.  I understand this is more futuristic themed than earlier games and the units have to reflect that, but it all confuses me as a first-time player.  Usually I can tell the difference between “guy with gun” and “guy with rocket launcher” at-a-glance and have a clear idea of the strengths/weaknesses of each.  But of course, everything is different now: both guys and guns look the same, and strengths/weaknesses are based on the type of gun they shoot/are shot with (eg. beam, explosive, gun) as opposed to unit type (eg. infantry, vehicles, structures).  All this newness is freaky and will take quite a while before I’m comfortable with them.  Until then, I guess I’ll just select-all and attack-move and hope I get to see the next cutscene soon.

In summary, I am not impressed.  The classic gamplay has been uprooted instead of refined, and the story presentation is severely lacking.  I get the feeling that EA rushed this one, presumably to quickly rid themselves of the last of Westwood’s baggage and to never have to hire Joe Kucan again.  Whether or not this is the case remains to be seen (by me), and I honestly hope this series ends on a very high note.  I will likely update you as I progress through the game.

Final thought: I wish they would have Joe Kucan direct the cutscenes as well.  Watch any cutscene from Tiberian Sun, and you’ll understand.

Congratulations to Pop and Ice Cream’s Lance and Evan Mudryk, who survived a gruelling hiring process to become the Gateway’s next Design & Production and Arts & Entertainment editors!

I just noticed that I’ve been neglecting my blog, but I guess those are the breaks in the topsy-turvy world of professional laziness.

So what’s been happening lately? Well, the Mudryk brothers have started up a podcast series, aptly titled A Serious Moment, wherein they and a guest discuss pressing issues of the day, such as how to properly refer to breasts in a given context and whether or not they should have the vote. I make a brief cameo in the Power Minute with Ross Vincent, in which I advocate for the firing of Lucas Wagner, who is competent and delightful chap who needs to be taken down a peg from time to time. Check out the first episode here. I advise you to not give it your full attention, but instead do something constructive while you listen.

In other news, I contributed to a Gateway group commentary on classic books that ought to be turned into theme parks. Reading it may induce laughter.

Finally, I acted in another student film, but it was basically crap so I won’t show it to you.

With V-Day right around the corner, I thought I’d inform you all that womanizer-extraordinaire Metaleeto is here to once again dispense romantic advice to the lovelorn.  If you thought last year’s special was informative, this time he’s putting theory into practice.  Check out the comics page of the latest Gateway to see it.

Coincidentally, this issue of the Gateway features our annual Purity Test, a time-honoured questionaire that determines how debauched you truly are.  I recommend you take the test online - I scored a measely 32, but that’s because I’m a gentleman, dammit! Now I want to hear your score.

There are other compelling reasons to check out the print version of the paper:

• Page 1 - Who is that creepy dude on the front cover?  Why, it’s me as Hades, Greek god of the Underworld!  Next to me is friend/production-editor/mean-old-boss-lady Kelsey as Persephone.
• Page 9 - An Editorial cartoon drawn by me!  This is the second time I’ve drawn a public figure (this time it’s Alberta’s Premier Ed Stelmach) and both times they looked like complete lunatics.  I can’t tell if this is a subconscious stylistic choice or if I’m beneficially terrible at drawing real people.
• Page 12 - A hilarious article by the Mudryk brothers of Pop and Ice Cream, pointing out the folly of threesomes with twins.
• Page 15-18 - The Purity Test, featuring Gatewayers in various Greek-God guises.  Special thanks go to classics nerd and part-time Artemis, Marie Gojmerac (of The Restless Wicked fame), who made most of our really cool props and costumes, and thanks to everyone else who made this photo shoot a blast.
• Page 30 - Comics!

I originally wanted to be Ares in the photo shoot, but second choice was Hades and, in retrospect, was a more obvious choice: a brooding loner who can only get a date through trickery.  Sounds like me, all right.

Whee.